


Crimes Against Fashion or; Five Times Adolin Insulted Kaladin’s Wardrobe and One Time He Didn’t (Sort Of)

by Is0lde



Series: What Happens In King's Town [1]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: 5 Times, Alternate Universe - Canada, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, M/M, Pining, Terrible Fashion Sense, Ugly Holiday Sweaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 04:30:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6141559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Is0lde/pseuds/Is0lde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Adolin insults Kaladin's wardrobe over the years and slowly falls in love with his unfashionable ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crimes Against Fashion or; Five Times Adolin Insulted Kaladin’s Wardrobe and One Time He Didn’t (Sort Of)

**Author's Note:**

> Many of the things here are based extremely loosely on my university experiences (faculty formals and polo shirts). The setting is my Alma Mater and the surrounding down town area and student ghetto.

**1\. Québec City French Trip, Winter of 2007**

 

It hurt Adolin’s eyes to look at the thing. The cuffs were nothing but a mass of shredded thread that Kaladin had stuck his thumbs through. There were at least three safety pins used to keep it from falling apart. The black cotton had faded and whatever had been printed on the back had long since peeled away. If Adolin squinted he could pretend it was a Jackson Pollok. That didn’t redeem the monstrosity in the slightest.

“What the hell, Stormblessed?”

Kaladin looked up from his tiny suitcase that he had been rifling through, raising an eyebrow in response. Adolin sighed, pushing himself up into a sitting position on the small hotel bed that he had claimed as his own. He pointed at the hoodie his classmate had donned. Kaladin shrugged his shoulders fluidly.

“It’s comfy,” he explained, returning to digging about in the suitcase. “Besides, it’s not like you have to wear it, Kholin.”

The idea of wearing the regrettable article of clothing made Adolin visibly shudder. Over the course of the school trip he’d seen enough of Kaladin Stormblessed’s wardrobe to last him a lifetime and gained a newfound appreciation for the school’s uniform. “Ugh, if you ever catch me wearing something as hideous as that I give you leave to shoot me.”

Kaladin lifted his head again and smirked. “Is that a promise?”

Adolin stuck his tongue out.

 

**2\. Shallan’s Birthday, Autumn of 2009**

 

The little bell sounding the new arrival melded into the murmur of conversation and the quaint atmospheric music of the tiny hole-in-the-wall Shallan had picked for her birthday dinner in such a way that Adolin did not register it until his childhood best friend’s face lit up. She stood, brushing her hands on her skirt slightly and wiggled her way past their table to embrace the new arrival with enthusiasm.

“I thought you weren’t going to make it!” She exclaimed and as Adolin twisted in his seat he saw the tall man lift her off the ground in a hug.

“I said I was coming!” The familiar voice said and Adolin’s eyes widened as a plaid and metal stud bedecked Kaladin Stormblessed set her down. He pushed his surprise down–he should have expected Kaladin to land himself in a good university. Though how their paths hadn’t crossed through the entirety of their freshmen year he would never know.

“You look like someone threw a punk and a lumberjack into a blender and then failed to put them back together, Stormblessed. For shame,” he criticised, giving Kaladin a long look over. Honestly it was like he had just crawled his way out of Algonquin Park after a year of solitude and decided to put some piercings in the holes the wilderness left and dye bits of his hair blue on a lark.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Kaladin asked, his tone that of long-suffering. Adolin smirked as Kaladin’s eyes finally landed on him.

“Aw you recognize me just by the sound of my voice, I’m flattered,” he teased, folding his arms over the back of the chair. “I’ve known Shallan since, like, forever.”

Shallan looked between the two of them, eyes narrowing in confusion. “Wait hold on. How do you two know each other?”

“High school,” Kaladin informed her, rounding the table so he could claim the spot next to her rather than sit next to his former nemesis. “I didn’t expect him to do well enough to land himself in a good university though.”

Adolin glared. “Hey!”

Shallan looked between the two of them again before grinning and sliding back into her spot. “God, you two reek of sexual tension masked as animosity. This birthday dinner just got awesome!”

“WHAT!?”

 

**3\. The Waterfront, Summer of 2010**

 

“I can’t believe you’re swimming in lake Ontario, Shallan,” Adolin said from where he lay stretched out on a towel atop the concrete pier, watching the sailboats list on the open water between the harbour and Wolfe Island. It wasn’t exactly comfortable but the sweltering humidity was bearable here at the waterfront and Shallan wanted to go for a dip. He reached for his can of cider. “If you grow extra toes you have no one to blame but yourself.”

“Ooo that’d be cool, I could write my thesis on it!” Shallan mused, floating in the water on her back.

Adolin frowned behind his sunglasses. “What… no, no Shallan. No.”

“Yes Shallan!” She cheered, throwing her arms up and accidentally sinking under the surface. She flailed slightly, splashing enough to get some water on him. He rubbed his arm into his towel and laid his head back down on his arms.

“Hey, sorry I’m late!” Kaladin called. Adolin could hear Kaladin’s feet pounding the concrete as he ran over.

“Woah,” Shallan exclaimed with a burst of hysterical laughter. “Nice shorts, dude.”

“They aren’t that bad,” Kaladin said, taking off his tee shirt and throwing it onto Adolin’s legs. Adolin could almost hear the pout in his voice. He kicked the shirt off.

“They’re really bad,” Shallan replied. “Adolin you have to see them! Holy shit…”

“I don’t enjoy vomiting Shallan,” Adolin said, not lifting his head. He also didn’t really want to get caught ogling Kaladin’s bare chest. Shallan would never let him hear the end of it.

“They aren’t that bad,” Kaladin repeated. “I got them for like 5 dollars today with the employee discount.”

“Giant Tiger’s clothing section is an affront to this nation,” Adolin said, propping himself up on his elbows and finally looking over at Kaladin. Any worries about ogling disappeared because his eyes were immediately drawn down to the day glow train wreck Kaladin had decided was acceptable to wear in public.

“Officer I’d like to report an eye injury,” he said with horrified awe. “Both eyes are bleeding. It’s like… who even authorized this!? I can’t believe you paid actual money for them.”

“They were five dollars!”

“With your employee discount,” Shallan added.

“I don’t care if they were fifty freaking cents,” Adolin said, affronted. “They’re a crime against humanity, and more importantly a crime against me. They belong in a trashcan.”

“I’m not wearing them to look good,” Kaladin said. “I’m wearing them to go swimming. They serve a function.”

“You don’t wear anything to look good,” Adolin replied, trying to keep the deep seeded disappointment from his voice. Because admitting that was something he wasn’t ready for.

“I’m just confident.”

“There’s confidence and then there is stupidity,” Adolin countered. Kaladin looked down at him and before Adolin could even react Kaladin had hooked his foot underneath Adolin’s flank and casually flipped him off the pier and into the lake.

“There’s stupidity and then there is being a jerk,” Kaladin said, perching on the edge and greeting Adolin with a smirk when he resurfaced. “Guess which one you are?”

 

**4\. SCI’ Formal, Spring 2011**

 

Shallan was right, this was an emergency.

“I cannot believe you, Kaladin,” Adolin said, dragging his hands down his face in exasperation. Kaladin looked down at what he was wearing and then shrugged with nonchalance.

“This is about as fancy as I get.”

“A polo shirt is not fancy,” Adolin explained. “You wear polo shirts if you are on a golf course, at apolo game or if–”

“You’re a douchebag,” Kaladin interjected. “I mean, since you wear them from time to time.”

“Ye–wait a minute,” Adolin paused and then scowled at his friend. Kaladin smiled back, the picture of serene innocence. “I hate you sometimes.”

“Feeling is mutual,” Kaladin shot back, his smile bleeding into a grin. He really needed to smile more, his face just seemed to brighten up when he did. Adolin scowled at the thought and shoved it aside.

“Less flirting, more problem solving,” Shallan said, stepping back into Kaladin’s bedroom unannounced. As expected her gown was gorgeous. Adolin, on his honour, could not let Kaladin ruin this for her with his poor fashion sense. “You bring the emergency kit?”

Adolin lifted up a cloth grocery bag. “I brought a pair of slacks I bought yesterday that I haven’t been tailored yet so they should fit his beanpole legs. The shirt will fit and the vest will too, it just needs to be adjusted in the back. Sadly he’s not going to fit any of my jackets because his shoulders are ridiculous,” Adolin said, pulling each carefully folded item from the bag and laying them on the bed. He shook his head. “It’s not perfect but it’s at least dress-code appropriate.”

Kaladin gave the clothes a sceptical glare, his face a small storm cloud, before giving Shallan a pleading look.

“You’ll wear it and you’ll like it,” Shallan told him, hands on her hips.

“Fine,” Kaladin griped, rising from where he sat on his bed. “Fashion police out of my room, I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself.”

“No you’re not but it’s cute that you think you are,” Shallan said before Adolin grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the room. He shut the door and promptly rounded on her.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He asked in a hushed tone edged with frustration. Shallan gave him a coy look.

“Now why on earth would I do that?”

“Because his terrible fashion sense is the only thing keeping me from making a fool of myself.”

Shallan smiled and reached up to pat Adolin’s cheek with condescending gentleness. “I like watching you squirm, Adolin. And you’d make a fool of yourself whether I helped you along or not.”

Adolin scowled at her before turning on his heel and starting to march away. “I’m leaving, I have a paper to write.”

“That paper isn’t due for two weeks and you never start early,” Shallan said, grabbing his hand and yanking him back. “Besides, you have to help Kaladin with the adjustments!”

“Nope. You can do that. Or, marvel idea, he can manage it on his own! I’m outta here,” Adolin said, dragging her down the hallway.

“You’re not escaping me Adolin Kholin!” Shallan laughed, jumping up and wrapping her arms around his neck from behind. “You’re going to turn Kaladin into a respectable escort and you’re going to like it!”

“Shallan get off me!”

“NEVER!”

“You’re going to ruin your dress!”

“Then you better submit to my whims! It’s all part of my cunning plan!” she cackled. Grumbling Adolin stopped moving.

“Fine, get off me,” he complained, crouching slightly so she didn’t have to drop down. Her grin when he turned around was smug. He stuck his tongue out at her in reply, blowing a raspberry.

“Wow. Very mature Kholin,” Kaladin said, standing in the doorway to his bedroom and fussing with his cuffs.

“Oh, this is much better!” Shallan said, clapping her hands. “You look much more presentable!”

Adolin folded his arms and pointedly ignored the exposed hollow of Kaladin’s throat. “Yeah, if a caveman squeezing into formal attire awkwardly constitutes as presenta–OW, SHALLAN!”

“Be nice,” Shallan admonished, removing her elbow from his side. She then smiled and hugged him, making him pause. “Thanks for saving the day!”

“I live to suffer your whims,” he said with mock lamentation.

“You and me both,” Kaladin said with an identical tone, meeting Adolin’s eyes briefly. Whether there was something meaningful there Adolin wasn’t sure.

“You nerds have fun at your nerdy science formal,” Adolin said, hastily breaking the eye contact and then stooping to kiss Shallan’s cheek. “You look wonderful by the way.”

“Thanks. Now go run along and ‘write that paper’, and by ‘write that paper’ I mean go be gross with your girlfriend,” She said, wiggling her fingers in air quotations at the appropriate moments.

“Oh, I intend to. Going to knock that ‘paper’ out of the park,” Adolin said with a overly lascivious grin, and walked away, letting the smile fade into a more sombre expression once he was far enough. He tried not to dwell on the thought of Kaladin wearing his clothes and how well he looked in them. He tried not to dwell on the harmless lie. He’d already had enough troubling thoughts today, he would just have to wait to talk to Shallan about the breakup tomorrow. He shook his head to dispel the melancholy that had overcome him and before the door apartment closed he heard Kaladin’s voice travel down the hallway.

“Do you think I can escape his wrath if I spill alcohol on this deliberately?”

He smiled at the words despite himself, and hated it.

 

**5\. Exam Season, Winter of 2011**

 

“I hate you both,” Adolin groaned.

“Oh, cheer up Adolin,” Shallan said and held up a bag. “We got you one too!”

“You shouldn’t have,” Adolin deadpanned.

“But we did,” Kaladin said. “It’s part of the Christmas spirit.”

“None of us even celebrate Christmas!”

“But wearing ugly sweaters with smiling reindeer is fun! You can’t be sad wearing an ugly Christmas sweater from Value Village,” Shallan informed him, reaching inside. She pulled out a green and red abomination from the bag. “We couldn’t believe our luck when we found four matching sweaters! We decided you could be Prancer. See, it has the name written on the back! I’m Vixen and Kaladin is Dasher! Tien claimed dibs on Rudolf.”

“I don’t know you two,” Adolin said, fishing out his cell phone. “I’m calling the police and telling them two strangers have broken into my home and are trying to force me into a sequin bedecked Christmas nightmare at knife point.”

“You’re such a drama queen, Adolin,” Kaladin said. “You’re just jealous because we’re cooler than you.”

Adolin raised an eyebrow. “Oh really? Because all I see is a couple of nerds wearing literally the most regrettable fashion choices I have ever seen. You are the antithesis of cool.”

“We’re so cool. So cool in fact that we are two of Santas reindeer so we were like, made to be cold,” Shallan said. Kaladin turned his gaze to his partner in crime and shook his head.

“That was bad, wasn’t it?” She asked, flushing.

“Even I know that was bad,” Adolin said, smirking slightly. Kaladin pointed at Adolin.

“Definitive proof of how bad that was if the King of Bad Jokes thinks it was terrible,” he explained. Adolin frowned at him.

“Since when was I dubbed the King of Bad Jokes?”

“When you made the drunk plant comment about my science fair project in grade nine,” Kaladin said. This time Adolin blinked in surprise and the memory returned to him slowly. He gave Kaladin a bemused glance.

“You remember that?”

“I remember a lot of things,” Kaladin said and looked back at Shallan who was studying the two of them like she did her lab experiments. Kaladin took the sweater from Shallan and tilted his head in Adolin’s direction. “Should we force him into it at knife point?”

Shallan grinned. “You grab him, I’ll go get the knife from his kitchen.”

Adolin looked between the two of them before vaulting over the back of the couch, Kaladin following him only seconds later, chasing him through the small student apartment.

“OVER MY DEAD BODY!”

 

**+1. The Harbour Breakwater, Spring of 2012**

 

Kaladin hadn’t expected to find Adolin Kholin, of all people, in his spot. Usually there weren’t many people out this far on the breakwater as it took some bit of effort to clamber over the rocks. It was extremely unusual to see in the spring, the weather somewhat pleasant but chilly down by the lake. Kaladin nimbly hopped along the last few and settled down next to his friend.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Adolin startled and whipped his head, hand rising to his heaving chest. Wide blue eyes then narrowed and Adolin punched his shoulder “Damn it Kaladin!”

“Not my fault you weren’t paying attention,” he shrugged before turning his attention back to whatever Adolin was staring at. Probably Wolfe Island in the distance, her wind turbines standing starkly against the reddening evening sky. “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“Went for a run,” Adolin said, shrugging. “Thought a lot about the future and got a bit overwhelmed by it all. Came out here to clear my head and cool down after the run,” he let his voice trail off, the sound of the waves against the breakwater filling the silence that followed. “I’ve never been out here before. It’s nice. Glad I got the chance before I head back to Toronto for good.”

Kaladin studied Adolin’s profile rather than the usual view as the other spoke. If he was honest with himself the view was just as nice, but that was something he had realized and come to terms with a long time ago. “Yeah. I’ve been coming out here since first year.”

“Really?”

“Yup,” Kaladin said. “Sometimes I just needed to… get away from everything. So I found a place I could go to just be alone with my thoughts.”

Adolin chuckled, folding his arms around himself and curling in slightly. “You were always like that. Off on your own I mean.”

Kaladin shrugged. “And you were always surrounded by a gaggle of admirers. You had a posse back in highschool. What happened to that?”

It was Adolin’s turn to shrug this time, still curled inwards and rubbing his arms. “If this were a movie right now would be the part where I admit that I learned the value of true friendship.”

“But…?”

“I still go to a lot of parties and I have a lot of people I hang out with from the polisci department but… I liked hanging out with you and Shallan. Started doing that a lot more last year,” Adolin admitted, resting his chin on his knees.

Kaladin felt a smile tug on the corner of his lips and he looked back out at the water and the distant island. “Your presence was tolerable.”

“I stomached yours,” Adolin countered with a laugh, rubbing his arms again.

“You cold or something?”

Adolin laughed again, the tone more self deprecating this time. “I forgot how cold it can get down by the water. I should have bought a sweater but I hadn’t actually planned on coming out here.”

Kaladin unzipped his hoodie and shrugged out of it, handing it over to Adolin. The blonde looked at it and then back at Kaladin. “Won’t you be cold?”

“I’m not the one shivering here.”

Adolin stuck his tongue out but accepted the sweater, sliding his arms into the sleeves. He moved to zip it up and then paused, staring down at the wrecked cuffs and the safety pins. Sudden, barking laughter filled Kaladin’s hears.

“You still own this piece of junk!?” Adolin asked through his laughter, zipping it up finally. Adolin was a tall man but the sweater still looked a little big on him. “I think the number of safety pins holding this thing together has doubled…” He mused.

“That piece of junk is warming you up isn’t it?” Kaladin asked. “Pretty sure it’s serving its purpose.”

Adolin’s laughter quieted down to a soft chuckle. “Yeah, it is. It’s actually pretty comfy.”

“You know,” Kaladin said casually. “I think I recall a certain someone saying on a certain class French trip: ‘if you ever catch me wearing something as hideous as that I give you leave to shoot me’.”

Adolin froze and turned to look at Kaladin.

“So, do I get to shoot you now after all these years?” Kaladin asked with a grin. Something resembling a faint blush rose up under Adolin’s tanned skin. Blue eyes briefly dripped down, as if considering, before meeting his eyes once more.

“I’d prefer a kiss,” Adolin said, sitting up straight and determined. Kaladin felt momentarily taken aback but then a pleasant warmth seemed to fill him up from head to toe. A part of him wasn’t quite sure this was happening but the rest of him, the majority, didn’t care.

“I think I can do that,” he replied. He leaned in close, reaching out with a hand to cup the back of Adolin’s head and draw him the rest of the way in. Adolin seemed to freeze when their lips brushed, something Kaladin hadn’t expected given the number of paramours Adolin amassed over the course of his undergraduate career, but the hesitant pause was brief in nature. Adolin melted into the kiss spectacularly, surging forward and deepened it with a subtle shift of his head and parted lips. Kaladin’s toes curled and he responded in kind, drawing Adolin’s lower lip through his teeth gently when he withdrew.

“Damn,” Adolin murmured, his forehead resting against Kaladin’s.

“Mhmmm,” Kaladin replied, laughing when Adolin butted their heads together lightly. “So, where does this leave us, Kholin?”

“With more kissing in the future, hopefully, and me in a hoodie that should have been put out of it’s misery six years ago,” Adolin said, brushing their lips together teasingly.

“That hoodie brought us to this point,” Kaladin said.

“Pretty sure it was the years of sexual tension. Your bad fashion sense kept me at bay this long.”

“And endeared me to you despite it all.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Stomblessed.”


End file.
